The will of the Force
by Lysore
Summary: Obi-Wan piqued Yoda's interest early on, except the Grand Master of the Order had known for just as long that the Initiate was destined to be Qui-Gon Jinn's Padawan. And Yoda had always been good at selflessly disregarding his own desires in order to follow the will of the Force... right? Melida/Daan!AU Jedi Apprentice!AU [oneshot]


**Notes**

 _Not mine._

 _Thank you Fey for getting me to write my first ever Star Wars fanfic, and for simply encouraging me to write more in general. And thank you for going over this fic before I posted it._

* * *

Grand Master of the Jedi Order Yoda had always loved the Force and respected Its will above all else.

.

As a result, when It affirmed young Obi-Wan Kenobi was destined to become a Jedi, he believed it. When It said It had already chosen a specific Master for the child, Yoda listened and kindly turned away the handful of Masters and Knights who came to enquire after the Initiate, for they were not who the Force had in mind.

And if over the years he himself grew interested in the child's bright mind and taste for acrobatics when fighting, whenever he caught himself wishing, he would tell himself the same thing he had told Master Giiett: 'promised him to another Master the Force has, surely feel it you can, so give you my blessing to ask him to become your Padawan I cannot.'

But when Obi-Wan's last year as an Initiate began, Yoda started worrying. Misunderstood the Force, had he? The first time, it would not have been.

Strong with the knowledge of his own fallibility yet nervous like a young Knight preparing to ask their first Initiate to become their Padawan, Yoda had resolved to do what he had spent the last two years forbidding himself from doing.

His hopes for living quarters brightened again by the presence of a new Apprentice were short lived however, as the Force chose that moment to unveil the identity of the Master young Kenobi was to apprentice under. So for the Force's sake, for his Grand-Padawan's sake, Yoda heeded the Force's will once again. After all, his last Padawan, Jard was supposed to be. Moreover, if Obi-Wan was the key to shaping Qui-Gon Jinn back into the great Master Jedi he had once been, he should rejoice in the promise of having the Master back, not mourn at the cost that would befall both him and the soon to be Padawan.

Yet, despite reasoning with himself, he kept yearning. Yearning to be the one who would teach the boy to harness his talents in the Unifying Force, to show him how to let his emotions flow through him without letting them control him, to start traipsing all over the Galaxy again with Obi-Wan by his side. It had been decades since he had last _wanted_.

But the Force had never failed him. So he would make sure not to fail It in return. He would make himself be content to have the child simply be a part of his lineage, since he could not be more.

So when Qui-Gon defied the will of the Force during the Initiate Tournament, citing too much anger in the Initiate, Yoda had listened to the Force's insistent prodding that whether Qui-Gon Jinn agreed or not, now was the time to finally push the pair together once and for all. To that end, instead of following proper protocol once Initiate Chun's trap and blatant lying had been uncovered, Yoda had purposefully ignored that Obi-Wan was not yet thirteen, ignored that he had not met the Council of Reassignment, ignored that said Council certainly would not have chosen the Agricultural Corps for the child, and he had convinced his peers to send Obi-Wan as a disgraced Initiate to Bandomeer, all the while hoping for the best.

And pay off, his bet had. Thank the Force.

But as the first year of the Apprenticeship of the child who could have been his passed, Yoda noticed the shining presence was dimming, and the bond between Master and Padawan remained frailer than it should be, despite efforts being made on both parts.

.

But satisfied and confident, the Force was.

.

When his fellow Councilors had proposed sending the pair to look for Master Tahl on the planet of Melida/Daan, Yoda had worried.

Too early it was.

Qui-Gon Jinn was not yet recovered enough to be trusted to make the right choices, especially in a situation where the possibility of succumbing to attachment could have disastrous consequences for all involved. But the majority of the Council felt Yoda's own care for the Padawan was clouding his judgment, and Qui-Gon's closeness to Tahl did make him uniquely suited to find her. So he had deferred to their decision.

.

Yet, for the first time, clouded and hesitant the Force had been.

.

And so two Jedi left for a rescue mission.

And so two Jedi came back.

And for the first time in a very long time, Yoda felt pure, undiluted rage, grief, and betrayal course through his veins.

'What You have done, see do You?' He silently asked the Force, small hands clenching ever more tightly around his walking stick as he listened to the lone Master in the room whose Force presence, hardly even shielded, alternated between too sharp, too warm hues of affection every time he mentioned the Master he had been sent to retrieve, and dark, glacial betrayal when his Padawan's involvement was mentioned. 'Intended for this to happen, did You?'

"A Padawan, you were sent with, Master Qui-Gon," he said, cutting through the Master's report of how he had succeeded in his mission, earning himself surprised looks from the assembled Councilors. "Not here he is now. Why?"

In front of him, Qui-Gon Jinn squared his shoulders and straightened his back, as though bracing himself for a merciless battle. Yoda lifted his chin in return to better stare down the Master who took an instinctive step back.

"Obi-Wan isn't my Padawan anymore. You were right when you sent him to Bandomeer," he forced out. "He was not fit to be a Jedi and proved it when he decided to leave the Order after having needlessly endangered Tahl's life during a crucial moment and behaving in ways unbecoming of a Jedi. He fell prey to attachment and took rash actions that could've had negative repercussions on the Order."

Though grief laced his Grand-Padawan's voice, Yoda still could not help the scoff that escaped him. 'He fell prey to attachment'. He mimicked derisively to himself.

"Master Tahl's report differs from yours Master Jinn. There is no mention of your Padawan placing her in any form of life threatening danger," a low baritone interrupted Yoda's thoughts.

"Perhaps a difference of interpretation, Master Windu" Qui-Gon at least had the decency of looking contrite. "She was hardly in a fit state at the time and her report is missing key elements that happened out of her presence." He sighed wearily. "Though the Temple Healers assured me I had been wrong, at the time I thought her eyes could have been saved if we left early enough."

"You _thought_ ," Mace repeated slowly, soft voice turning harsh.

Qui-Gon reared his head back, as though slapped by his childhood friend, before his face smoothed out of all emotion the way it always did when he was preparing to dig his heels in and fight the Council or a stubborn politician with all of his considerable might.

"Yes, I thought so," he reaffirmed. "It was a perfectly reasonable assumption to make given our lack of medical equipment and living conditions. Furthermore, the possibility of an infection settling in and taking her life couldn't be discarded."

"I fail to see how this could lead to young Kenobi leaving the Order."

Ears rising with interest, the diminutive green Master leaned forward on his seat. Mace taking the lead in this discussion was a good thing for him and would prevent Yoda's own judgment from being questioned again due to his own attachment to the Padawan. His eyes met the latest addition to the Council for a short instant and he discreetly inclined his head in thanks.

"He turned his lightsaber on me," Qui-Gon choked out and Yoda had no troubles finishing the sentence. 'Just like Xanatos.'

The onslaught of emotions seemed too great for the Master to bear, for he stopped talking and closed his eyes, fingertips trailing gently on the second lightsaber hanging from his belt. Yoda's eyes zeroed on it and his hands gripped his walking stick with a death grip. How had he failed to notice it before now?

"He tried to steal our ship to give air support to the Young. Melida/Daan never asked us to help them resolve their conflict. We had no jurisdiction to intervene and as such were bound to only act within the boundaries of our real mission, the one that should have been Obi-Wan's priority since the beginning," he grimaced, voice turning bitter with his last statement.

"So I gave him a choice. Either he turned off his lightsaber and got on the ship with Tahl and I, or he stayed there. I thought it would be enough to make him come. But in the end, he told me he had found a cause greater than that of the Jedi on Melida/Daan, and stayed on the planet of his own free will," the Master finished, chin high and eyes cold.

"Let me see if I understood you clearly Master Jinn," Ki Adi Mundi took over from Mace with the slow monotone he used when particularly unnerved by one of his fellow Jedi. "You abandoned a small child -"

"He is thirteen!" Yoda's Grand-Padawan exclaimed.

"Which is a very young age for humans." Mace countered with a dismissive wave of his hand and Yoda felt a grateful pulse of the Force go past him in Mace's direction before Ki Adi started again.

"You abandoned a small child to fight on a war torn planet for a cause you believed to be lost because said child wanted to delay your trip back to Coruscant in order to help stop a war? How did that happen?"

Qui-Gon frowned and released a hiss of breath through clenched teeth, his Force presence getting cloudier the more opposition he met. "I told you, he made an informed choice."

"A choice? Truly? You gave a boy who had known nearly nothing but sheltered Temple life an ultimatum to choose between the life of one and the lives of many. You made him believe the responsibility for the consequences was his so he had to make a choice, and you feel you handled this situation well?" Ki Adi was visibly seething, chest heaving as he slowly reigned his emotions back in.

"Your Padawan was taught all his life that dying for the greater good was an honor. That helping others was his mission in life. That peace was the goal we should all aim for. It is your duty to make him value his life too, Master Jinn. It is your duty to make him understand the difference between ideals and reality, how martyring oneself will not always make a difference. You knew he had no compunction against discarding his own life. If I remember correctly, that is what made you take him on as your Padawan."

"Except Padawans are a responsibility Master Jinn," Stass Allie added when it became clear Ki Adi was done talking. "Parents entrust us with their children on the absolute condition that they will be treated fairly and will be well cared for. Not discarded and left to die at the first hurdle on the way. Did you at least explain to the child why he couldn't help those people or suggest alternative ways to help that would have allowed the both of you to leave? That if the Young asked the Order for help, and with your report as proof of the emergency of the situation, we would have been able to send someone to help them post haste?"

"I did!" Qui-Gon countered immediately right before his eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. "I didn't."

Yoda heard a rustle of clothes and turned to see Sifo-Dyas leaning forward, head carefully cradled between his palms.

"How wonderful," his derisive voice rang through the chamber, though his eyes remained closed. "If all Masters discarded their Padawans as easily as you seem to lose yours, I believe the Order would have been disbanded centuries ago due to a shortage of apprentices, Master Jinn."

Before Qui-Gon could disturb the aging master who seemed to be slipping in and out of an uncontrollable vision induced trance, Yoda intervened.

"Reminds me of another apprentice, not so long ago, this does."

"Another, Master Yoda?" Qui-Gon played along willingly enough, his stance pointedly more open than it had been mere seconds ago, though Yoda could feel him build stronger walls to cloud his Force presence.

"Yes. A mission that you undertook with Jard, I am referring to. Fifteen you were around that time. Remember it, do you?" Yoda knew he should not have felt the vindication he did at seeing his Grand-Padawan's face turn deathly pale. "A similar conflict there was. Too difficult for a pair of Jedi to solve. Badly injured my former Padawan had been and in need of urgent medical support. But persuaded you could solve the civil war alone, you were. Leave you there, did your Master at the time?"

"I would never have left the Order!"

"Forced you to make such a choice, Jard would never have."

When Qui-Gon showed no sign of answering, simply pressing his lips so tightly they seemed to disappear, Yoda cocked his head in an obvious order for him to play his role in this conversation.

"No Master Yoda," Qui-Gon eventually answered with obvious reluctance.

"No indeed. Took you by the collar with his uninjured hand. Dragged you kicking and screaming all the way back to the ship he did, before explaining to you not all missions ended in success and solve everything we cannot, especially if unauthorized and as such illegal our help is."

"Yes Master."

Though his head was appropriately bowed and he looked suitably cowed, Yoda knew this lesson would not stick. If left to his own devices, it would not be long before Qui-Gon was back to thinking himself blameless in this affair.

.

And protest his conclusion, the Force did not.

.

The report over, Yoda opted to skip the debriefing with his fellow Councilors and hopped from his seat to follow Qui-Gon out.

He had barely taken a few steps in the antechamber when Qui Gon whirled around to face him, all polite pretence of deference from earlier gone. He stalked back towards Yoda, drawing up his entire height to tower above him while the small Master kept a relaxed stance, leaning on his walking stick in a pose he knew made him appear harmless.

"You may've made me Temple bound for now but I can still show myself to that mind healer you all think I need to see on my own."

"Realize you should that without Master Antira's approval, allowed in the field again you will not be, Grand-Padawan mine. But here to escort you to your first appointment with her, I am not." Craning his head up to look at Qui-Gon, face, Yoda took a deep, controlled breath in anticipation and held out a hand. "Padawan Kenobi's lightsaber, I want you to give me."

"He's not a Padawan anymore," Qui-Gon started to contest, hand coming to his belt to grasp the handle of Obi-Wan's lightsaber in a white knuckled grip.

One look down in the ancient Master's blank stare and drooping ears made him close his mouth with a click, and he relinquished the weapon into a small green hand, all will to fight draining away from him to leave only bone deep exhaustion behind.

"Dismissed, you are."

Head bowed and shoulders hunched, Qui-Gon left, hopefully in the direction of the Halls of Healing.

Leaning on his cane, Yoda hobbled back into the direction of the High Council chamber, but stopped in front of the closed doors. Closing his eyes, he delicately focused on the crystal encased in the lightsaber he held in his hand. The azure mineral, so pure, so strong, had started to cloud on the surface due to self-doubt and insecurities. No, anger had never been the true problem with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Acceptance by himself as much as by others had been.

He let the sad song of the crystal flow through him. It was already missing the partner it had chosen so little time ago when it had believed it would have followed its bonded until his death.

His decision made, Yoda slipped out of his trance and opened his eyes to find Sifo-Dyas lounging against a side of the now open doorway. Though he was massaging his temples the way he often did after a particularly intense set of visions, he looked more relaxed than he had in years.

"I called the hangar. You leave in an hour. Yaddle will take over your duties in the meantime," he murmured before closing the doors in front of the diminutive Master.

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And this time, silent the Force was.

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 **End notes**

 _Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it._

 _If you have the time to, I would love it if you could tell me what you thought of this._


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